fighting the fear.

This post is completely unrelated to pregnancy or parenthood.  Gasp!  There are more things to talk about than us having a baby?  Totally.  I mean don’t get me wrong…Penny is awesome, but I am still Katie, and there is a lot more going on in here than just becoming Pennys mom.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way.  Lets talk a little about the fear.  All my creative people say “Haaaaaaaaaaay”.  I’m sure we all have it.  If you don’t id like to know your secret.  Being creative is easy.  Sharing your creativity with the general public is well…not as easy.   There was a period of time in my life where i loved painting and i would sit in my room for hours just making things.  After a night of crafty goodness, i would pack everything up and put it in the closet.  Where it would stay.  Forever.  I never talked about it and i would NEVER have the audacity to call myself an “artist”.  I still cringe at the word.  If anyone ever calls me that I get really uncomfortable and say something awkward like…”i dabble” or “im a doodler”, but I would never voluntarily share that i was an artist.  I still don’t think i am.

 

Since the days of sneakily making things in the privacy of my bedroom and locking them away, Ive branched out a little bit and have developed a style that i feel more comfortable sharing.  I even sold a few things which was shocking to me, because i never thought anything i made was worth spending money on.

   

Recently i had the the opportunity to sell my prints at a local book store that is connected to my work.  Unsure of how it would work out and a little afraid to step out of my comfort zone, i went for it and applied.

i was rejected.

im not going to lie…i totally cried (which i partly blame on pregnancy).  But i immediately chalked it up to the fact that i…well…sucked.  Then i remembered that before i had deleted my facebook (long story and also best decision I’ve made in a while) i had applied to sell my prints at an adorable little handmade shop in a near by cute little town and they were super interested (which i totally forgot about until today).  i think really the bookstore and i just weren’t a good match.  and that’s okay.

After bumming for about 10 minutes and feeling like a complete failure i actually got a couple more ideas for some prints that i want to create for some dear friends that are having babies a little bit before me and brett.  and boom!  total complete failure turned inspiration moment.  my normal self would have been like “well i guess i suck, ill most likely never paint again”, but not this time.  growth!

 

i love to make things.  i love to paint funny little child like pictures.  and that’s okay.  you don’t need to paint full on scenic, perfect piece of art to be an artist.  you just have to love to create.

so to any of my fellow closet “artists” out there.  keep on keepin on.  make things cuz you like to.  and if you make things and try to sell them and no one buys it…who cares!

so i guess this was my own little way of fighting the fear today.  posting these little things that Ive made that i enjoy and sharing them with you.

I hope you like them…and if you dont…thats okay too : ).