[not so] baby penny

This lil squirt.

Prepping for her first birthday party has gone into full throttle and in the midst of cutting paper, and stringing whatever im stringing and gluing…i have these moments where i sit and think “how did we get here?”

I remember having her home for the first time and thinking…”WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?”.  Everything was so new and foreign to us.  And suddenly I blink…and all of those new things have become normal life.  I no longer check the clock every two minutes and wonder if we need to feed her again or when she should nap.  I remember this one particular night when we got her down to sleep around 7pm (which was a miracle) and she slept for about 4 hours (one of her first long stretches of sleep), giving us enough time to make dinner, eat said dinner, watch a movie and snuggle before the crying began again.  I remember looking at Brett and saying…”one day she’ll have a bed time, and we’ll have nights together again…thats gonna be awesome!”.  When everyone said “it gets better” i laughed at it…and said…”oh god…when?”.  well…we’re here.

i know that new challenges are approaching. we have a very “strong willed” baby girl already and learning how to discipline will be a great parental adventure.  but here.  in this place.  we are having so much fun!

Penny learns something new every day.  shes started to say small little words like “BOW!” for dog (which is so cute it hurts) and “WHOA!” when we give her something to play with while we change her buns (which is one of those new adventures…why all of a sudden getting your buns cleaned is a dramatic event is beyond me.).  whenever we say “yay”, she starts clapping and she holds her hands up for us to pick her up now (mom tear).  shes walking EVERYWHERE and sometimes braves herself for a run that only lasts about 4 steps before nearly face planting.  shes hilarious.  and everyday i look at her and can see the baby-ness shedding off of her.  shes becoming this little girl and although its exciting and so fun to watch her grow.  i miss that tiny little baby that would lay in her boppy on the couch for hours.  even with the crying.  some days i miss that tiny little baby learning to smile.

not enough to try and have another one! dont get it twisted.  we’ll wait a while.  but as im preparing to celebrate my daughter turning one and venturing into toddlerdom…i have to remind myself to sit and savor it.  be aware of everything.  the way she runs away when we chase her and squeels when we tickler her.  the way she giggles when we pull her out of her crib and how she lays her head on our chest when shes super exhausted.  her little tiny wave that makes strangers smile.  smelling the last tiny bits of baby smell from her fuzzy little hair.

i dont want to miss a thing.