Lessons from nap time.

Oh lordy.  Toddlers.  They sure throw you for a loop.  Once again we are going through a phase where our champion sleeper of a child is not sleeping so well.  Just when you think it’s all over…BAM…sleep regression.  Oh man those two words fill me with such rage.  Sleep regression.  Ugh.

So, after about 3-4 days of little to no naps at all and multiple wakings at night.  There is a level of mom frustration that is seriously off the charts.  I love my kiddo…but man…do I rely on nap time and night night time to relieve me of this full time job called motherhood.  I am tired.  And that 2 1/2 sometimes 3 hours during the middle of the day and the quiet from 730 at night to 730 in the morning is worshipped.  Maybe a little too much.  Because when it’s taken away from me, I can throw a tantrum that rivals my toddler, who is knee deep in those terrible twos.

We had a great day today.  Thursday I attend a bible study in the mornings with free child care from 9-12.  This means…uninterrupted serious play time for Penny, and amazing adult interaction sans a child for mama.  Seriously Thursdays put both Penny in I in the BEST moods!  We got home, we ate lunch, we even snuggled on the couch together and watched an episode of Sophia the first, in between giggles and tickle fights.  I’m high on life at this point.  Great mom achievement unlocked!

Then…nap time.  Here we go.  Screaming.  Asking for more crap to be shoved in her crib with her, and the melt down when I say “no, I’m sorry sweetie, you can’t sleep with a fork.”  (what is your deal toddlers!?).  Brett came home for lunch from work and offered a little try before he headed back to get her to calm down. No dice.   Just when I was feeling like all hope was lost and I was ready to whip her out of her crib and doom her to an afternoon of watching only gilmore girls and her mom sulking around the house exhausted…I tried something else.

Instead of reassuring her through the door that “mama is right here, its okay sweetie”.  I went in.  I sat by her crib.  I held her hand and waited.  I didnt say anything.  Instead of telling her I was there for her, I actually sat and was there.  I watched her eyes get heavy.  She even mustered up a very sleepy, mildly convincing “I want outta the crib” before slowly drifting off to sleep.  I sat for maybe 5 minutes, which honestly felt like forever.  Her little hands and arms flinching occasionally, her lips smacking after a deep sigh.  She released my hand and replaced it with one of her stuffed animals (there are literally 20 in there to choose from at this point).  I didn’t move.  Not for fear of waking her, which is usually the case, but for fear of leaving this moment.  I studied everything about her and I was overwhelmed.  She was tired…which I knew.  She needed a nap…which I also knew.  And this time…she really did need to know that mama was, like actually there in front of her face, there for her and it was okay to go to sleep.

I talk to all of my mom friends constantly about what to do?  How do you know whats the right thing?  How do you cave without starting new habits?  How do you break habits you accidentally set?  Should we do this?  What did you do?  There is so much pressure to ALWAYS do the right thing.  “Don’t cave in too much!” “Don’t be too harsh!”…basically don’t do anything wrong or your child will be messed up forever and it’s all your fault!  That may be extreme, but I feel like there is a very very real pressure to do everything right, always.  That’s impossible!  Having a toddler is HARD.  Every day is a new lesson to teach them.  Like how it is totally not okay to kick someone or hit someone on the head with a wooden hammer  (which is bizzare that you have to teach that!), sharing, listening, being kind, being strong, brave, empathetic.  These are huge heavy things to teach your kid.  But…every now and then something happens, and they teach you a little something about how to be kinder, bolder, braver, and definitely more empathetic.

Penny is totally still sleeping by the way and we may have to do this again later tonight, but honestly, she won’t be 2 forever, and I’m pretty sure when she’s 15…she’ll be like “oh my god mom why are you in my room staring at me and holding my hand!  i’m trying to sleep and you’re weird!!”  So I better soak up these opportunities to love on her a little extra now and it’s probably not too bad of a habit to teach your kiddo, that if she’s afraid, mommy will be there.