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baby

The whole story…

September 29, 2013
baby, life
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Well, we’re 2 weeks deep into parenthood and man oh man has it been an interesting ride thus far. Let’s start from the beginning shall we?

Thursday night (the 12th) I started having some pretty light contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. I woke Brett up around 530am and we started timing those bad boys…they were about 4-6 minutes apart so we decided to check in with the hospital around 9am.

Disappointingly enough they were just Braxton hicks contractions and I was still only 2cm dilated and like no effacement at all. I was so embarrassed that I thought it was the real thing…and so bummed that we got sent home.

We decided to drown our sorrows in a giant breakfast at Denny’s and then headed home for a nap. Then at 230pm my water broke…then came the “real” contractions…and…oh my god they came with vengeance! We made it back to the hospital at 4pm and I was having back to back contractions and was at 4cm and they admitted me.

I received the gift from Jesus that is the epidural and continued to crank out contractions. By 830 I was ready to push. I pushed for a half hour and she was here!

It was such a whirl wind. And still is. I can’t believe we have a baby. I can’t believe we are parents.

The first 2 weeks have been full of some serious highs and lows. Penny’s days and nights were flip flopped so she would sleep all day long and the cry from 11pm til 6am. There were tears and frustration and then she would snuggle on our shoulders and fall asleep and make us fall head over heals in love with her again.

This journey is crazy and I know we have many highs and lows ahead of us. This is just the beginning.

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9.13.13

September 16, 2013
baby, life
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ImageImageShes here! She’s amazing! And this is hard work!

Penelope Joy born September 13, 2013 (4daysearly)

8lbs 12oz 20in (biggirl!)

birth story to come! For now…we rest and figure this new born thing out 🙂

 

39 weeks

September 11, 2013
baby, letters from M
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39weeks2

little one,

My goodness…what a journey we have been on.  I cant believe we’re on (what i hope to be) our last week of the pregnancy phase in our relationship.  It’s been an adventure so far thats for sure, and you are already teaching me so much about being a mother and about that sweet sweet word that we all love…”patience”.  Your dad and I were convinced you were coming last weekend.  It was partly a gut feeling and partly wishful thinking.  We are UNBELIEVABLY ready to meet you!

Knowing that you can come literally at any moment from now through next week is so exciting and so nerve racking.  I wish we could know when exactly you are coming but I guess that wouldnt be as fun for you.  Not even here yet and already keeping your parents on their toes…wondering what you will do.  These last 39 weeks have been hard in ways I didnt expect and so incredibly amazing in ways that i could not have known.

It’s so crazy to feel your little knees and hands and buns rollin around in my tummy and I just cant wait to see all of these parts of you.  i cant wait to kiss your little knees and hands and to squeeze those sweet buns (im gonna do it…probably even when you are in your teens…and you are going to love it…because im your mom.  and i said so.)

we love you beyond words, and as much as we love our little family of 2, we are so glad that you are going to be the 3 in this mix.  get here when you can little lady.  we’re ready for you.

XOXO,

M

37 & 38 Weeks.

September 4, 2013
baby, letters from M
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37

38

Little One,
You are so almost here!  We had a check up yesterday and the doctor told me that we’re already 2cm and 80% effaced (TMI).  This could mean you’re coming soon or you’re coming in 2 weeks but goodness gracious progress is progress and you are on your way!

You’re dad and I are freaking out with excitement at the thought of getting to meet you and we’ve started walking for a while at night in the hopes that we will shake you out (or something like that…we don’t know how it works).  Everything is set up and ready to go, we have everything we need and its all in its rightful place…all we’re missing is you!  So you can totally come out now, we fully support it.

Even though I’m actually quite a bit terrified of labor It’s amazing how excited I’m getting.  It’s almost (i repeat ALMOST) overshadowing how incredibly tired, and miserable I am. I blame the weather and its brutal hot days for this…I don’t think its really your fault at all.   But mama is beat.  I cannot believe that we are nearly at the end of this part of our journey together.  Next stop FRIENDSHIP!  It’s gonna be AWESOME!

We love you Penelope Joy.  And this is only the beginning of how great our love is for you.  It’s gonna grow like mad and we are so incredibly excited about you.

XOXO,

M

36 weeks

August 20, 2013
baby, letters from M
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36

Hello Little one,

You are not so little these days.  We had a doctors appointment this morning and you are already 6 lbs! My goodness!  Our doctor also tried to get a good measurement of your little legs and you kept moving them away from her.  You may be getting bigger, but you are NOT slowing down.  We may have our hands full with you.  Another one of your little friends was born yesterday.  Everytime this happens I feel a twinge of envy.  All of us moms have been going through this together, and one by one they are starting to get to meet their little ladies and dudes.  Not much longer till we get to join them on the other side.  I can’t wait to see your little face.  I hope you have your dads cute little dimples and he hopes that you get my ears.  All I know is that you are going to be absolutely amazing.

It’s so hard to believe that you could pretty much come anytime you wanted now.  My mom had me two weeks early and fast, so there is a possibility you and I wont make it to 40 weeks on this little journey.  But don’t feel pressure.  You can come whenever you’re ready : )

love you penny, you’re pretty neat : ).

XOXO,

M

35 weeks.

August 14, 2013
baby, letters from M
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35

Little One,

We have definitely taken an interesting turn this week.  You and I are BIG and so incredibly close to full term, and we can feel it.  Sleeping is starting to get tough, and your kicks are awfully brutal these days.  Sometimes when you roll over I feel like you might bust out of my tummy and sometimes you are tucked so far to the right its hard to believe my tummy can stretch that far.  You are definitely out growing this little place you have been living for the last 8 months.  Your dad and I are SO excited because next week is our 36 week check up and we finally get to have another ultra sound.  We’ve been wanting to see you so bad!  Its hard to believe that you can really come at any time these days.  I keep reading these stories about babies coming 4 or 5 weeks early and I think about how crazy it would be if you were here so soon.  I’d really like it if you came earlier, but I understand if you need to cook a little longer.  Just not too long okay…your mama isn’t too keen on that 42 week possibility.  We still have SO much to do to prepare for you but we are so incredibly ready to meet you!

We love you Penelope Joy.

XOXO,

M

34 weeks.

August 6, 2013
baby, letters from M
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34

Oh hello Little one!

Here we are, 34 weeks!  We had a check up today and you are still growing right on track.  I asked our doctor how big you were and she said you were about 4 pounds!  You’re on track to being a 7 pound baby, so I’m hoping you keep growing the way you’re growing.  If at all possible we just keep getting more excited about you.  More and more things for you are pouring into our home and its so crazy to think that in 6 weeks you will be wearing these little onesies, bouncing in these little seats, and sleeping (lord willing) in your little crib.  Sometimes your dad just goes to your room and stands in the doorway looking at everything.  Its getting a bit real.

Sleep is getting a bit tricky, the more you grow.  We’ve had some 5am cereal time this last week for sure.  It’s kind of nice to sit in the early morning quiet with you.  I’m sure we will have MANY moments like that when you get here.  As tired as we’re gonna be, I’m pretty excited to hang out with you.

I love you little one.  So much!

XOXO,

M

33 weeks.

July 30, 2013
baby, letters from M
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33

Hello Little One,

oh man oh man…i know i say this every week.  but you, my little lady, are growing.  i feel like you have tripled in size in the last few weeks.  the other night your dad and i were reading and i started to fall asleep…and then WHAM! you kicked me right in my ribs making me sit up.  your dad had wide eyes and kept saying “i saw that! are you okay?!”  you are quite strong.  its pretty impressive, and although your kicks are not always the most pleasant thing in the world…it sure is nice knowing you are growing and movin around in there.

apples and grapes are big ticket items with us these days.  which is good because i think the whole french fry thing was getting a little out of control.  its nice to see some good for you foods sneaking their way into our day. although, the “spuderido” (a bean and cheese burrito, with french fries in it) has made a regular appearance as well.  so, its balancing out.

everyone keeps saying we have a long way to go, but i feel like the time is flying by!  august is the only thing that stands between us and you!  thats so crazy!  all of your little friends are being born, and its making me so anxious to finally have you!

we love you penny!  youre the bestest!

XOXO,

M

it’s about to get real…

July 24, 2013
baby, life
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First things first.  I found this mug on pinterest…and if no one is hilarious enough to buy this for me…im gonna have one made.  and i will drink out of this little gem every morning whilst holding my sweet little babes.

id like to preface this post by saying that i never thought of myself as a mom.  i was not one of those little girls that was like…im gonna grow up and get married and have babies!  babies scared me.  they still do.  the responsibility of raising a human being is one of the most intimidating tasks i have every had to come face to face with.

i felt this way a little bit about marriage.  i was terrified.  it is a big deal.  and i was always VERY aware of it.   i remember when brett and i were engaged i started to freak out a bit.  not about marrying him (best. decision. ever!) but i had seen some of my friends get married and they all of a sudden became this wife.  they did everything perfectly for their husbands.  they even dressed different or looked different to me.  they changed.  it wasn’t bad.  it was just different.  and i was so scared that i wouldn’t live up to that.

the truth is.  i don’t.  and that is totally okay.  i’m totally not the “best wife ever”.  but brett tells me i am.  and maybe its true to him.  hes the best husband ever…to me : ).

now on to babies.  i am beyond stoked to meet penny.  and i have no doubt that she is going to be a rad little addition to our family.  i mean…shes part brett…and hes my all time favorite person, so she is guaranteed a spot on my fave list!  but its totally there…the fear.

im starting to get really terrified of labor.  like really freaked out.  everyones response to this is.  “once you hold your baby it all goes away”.  if im being completely honest…that is like the least comforting thing.  im very aware that i have no idea what im doing.  so when labor is over and im looking at this little girl and embarking on this unknown phase of life, where im a total rookie and dont know anything….that stresses me out.  hey youre done giving birth!  heres this little person who doesnt even know how to hold their head up! AHHHH!

i know it sounds terrible but brett has started to say…”when labor is all over, you wont be pregnant anymore” and there…with those words, i find relief.

my pregnancy has been totally easy breezy.  when i think about it, it hasnt been bad at all.  minus the total mental break downs about weight gain, and the normal uncomfortable things that come with being pregnant.  but im not loving it.  im not one of those ladies that absolutely loves being pregnant.  even admitting that feels like im being a bad mother.  sometimes i say it to moms and they look at me like ive just said the most vulger thing.  im not a fluffy mushy person.  and i also dont know how to fake things very well.  when someone asks me how im doing im not the type to launch into how this is the most incredible thing in the world and i feel so amazing.  if i feel like crap…ill most likely say so.

brett gives me a hard time because he can tell exactly how im feeling, even when im trying really hard to hide it (unless i dont want to hurt someones feelings…im usually pretty believable in those areas…haha)

i guess the point is…im not going to do everything right.  im most likely not going to be the best mother in the entire world.  im not giving myself permission to not try and to just totally be lame and not care about my child (which is impossible, because i already care about her and havent even met her yet), but i am giving myself permission to be myself.  i dont mind if everything penny owns is not organic.  i dont have to make everything from scratch.  i just have to love her…and love brett and try my hardest (with lots of prayer in there).

its impossible to be perfect.  its impossible to be the perfect friend, or wife, or mom, or even daughter (your off the hook too penny!)  but you can wake up and try your best to love the ones in your life…and if you dont do so good one day…there is grace, and a new day right around the corner.

theres been a couple times where ive talked to other prego ladies and ill just come right out and say “being pregnant is the worst!” and they get all excited to hear someone say that and they are like “right!? i feel the same way!”  i just felt compelled to share, in case there were any other mamas out there that just needed to hear that its totally okay to admit you arent having a blast and that becoming a parent is scary.  i write completely genuine loving notes to my baby every week and those feelings are very real.  but there is life in between those weekly letters and sometimes its nice to hear those feelings too.

we can do this mamas.  who we are is enough.  and our babies are gonna look back one day and appreciate little things we did, that we probably didn’t even notice we were doing.  ive got some prime examples with my mama.  maybe ill get to share them with you when i hand those little things down to penny as she grows up.

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