What a journey this thing called parenthood is. Our baby girl is a month old! The first few weeks of her life were pretty brutal. Our little Penny-kins had her days and nights flipped for a while…which meant that she would be a beautiful little sleepy bug all day long, and then scream and cry from about 11pm to 6am.
Those were dark days in the Lemster home. I knew this baby thing was not going to be easy, but after a week or two of no sleep and a crying baby we were in a bit of a dark hole of new born-dom. Things are still a bit tough, but we are learning.
Another thing that was really difficult was the dreaded breast feeding (DUN DUN DUN!) First off…that stuff is not easy. It may come naturally for some moms, but for most people (which I learned through struggling with it) its a lot of work and actually really difficult. Penny and I had a few issues that were stressing me out. We had many days and nights of screaming and crying and her taking FOREVER to latch on for a brief moment and then back into screaming. I was starting to feel like every time she was with me she was freaking out and crying and then Brett would swoop in and feed her a bottle and she would be all happy and comforted. I felt like it was driving a wedge between me and her instead of bonding us. I wanted to stop so bad but there is this super intense pressure from other moms that breast feeding is the only way, so I felt super trapped. Honestly, to each their own. I, personally, took the route of what worked best for me. I decided to just pump for her, and it works really well for us. It took a lot of stress off of me and her, and it allows Brett to help a lot. She is still getting breast milk, and the occasional formula, but she is growing and we are MUCH happier with each other. If we do have more children, I will definitely try again, but I wanted to share that little tidbit just in case there was anyone feeling bad about not being able to feed their child in a specific way. Do what works best for you. Having a baby is super hard, and there is so much pressure (from yourself, and others) to do things right. There is no universal right. Do what is best for you and your family.
All that being said…I freaking love our daughter. She is so amazing and I just stare at her all the time in awe that she grew inside of me and is so perfectly part Brett and part me. i’m so excited to get to watch her grow up. I cant wait to get to know her and to see her little personality form. I cant wait to hear her talk about her favorite things and even though she is super tiny I cannot wait to take her trick or treating this year, and to go Christmas tree shopping and looking at Christmas lights. It’s such a privaledge to get to share the moments with her where she learns things for the first time.
Its all so difficult and amazing. We are so tired, and so happy : ).
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